this and that

well i had lots of little thoughts, i really should write them down as i get them, but i feel they are too short for a blog.

for instance, last week when our homeschool group headed downtown to the creation expo, yes, downtown, the place i HATE AND FEAR to drive to and in, but, i didn't want that to keep us from going, so i bravely caravanned, while white knuckled, feeling like throwing up and it didn't help that as we are on I65 at a tricky part of the interstate, the song "if i die young" comes on the radio.......really! am i supposed to get a hint here! luckily we made it safe and sound and emotionally drained, then sat for 2.5 hrs of a very scientific explanation about the proof that God created the world and not some big bang. well here is the thing, this was a bunch of KIDS they were talking to, the science was over MY head, let alone theirs. i dont' know, nor care how much helium is in a rock, i come from the stance, i believe it so, on faith, i don't care what the science is, for a reason too, it's too confusing! lol seriously though, i would not care if science supported the big bang therory, i would still believe what the Bible said, however i understand not everyone functions that way. although, i have to say all the kids in that room were very well behaved for such a long.....scientific lecture.

on the home front, as boring as this sounds, i have finally gotten 50% of the house decluttered and cleaned, the hard part is re-training everyone (including myself) to constantly pick up after ourselves so we can keep it that way! you wouldn't think that was such a problem, but i think so often it is unconsciencly done, we leave the room without taking our junk out of it! and it piles and piles til no one wants to clean it! ughhh! chris and i think we may put the house up for sale in a year or two so i would like to get our "cleaning" habits if you will, up to par by then so it's not such a drain to do so when it's listed. we are thinking of moving south or east to new palestine when we sell this house.

frankie's 12th birthday has come and gone. we did not have school that day, instead i took the kids for doughnuts in the morning, then to the movie "legend of the guardians" that frankie had been dying to see, then we came home, packed stuff up and went to kroger to get snack food for the hotel and picked up his bff blake and headed to caribbean cove. the kids were super excited and it turned out so much fun for them. i took the laptop and played a game on it while they swam. chris went in with them and took them up on the slides. fun was had by all. they swam until about 1:30pm the next day, came home and chris took them out to supper and putt putt golfing while i cleaned at home.

also on the home front, we have been eating out like crazy! i have just had no desire to cook. well i feel the time has come to get back to it. i have been trying to come up with a few new recipes and to make myself get motivated. whenever i look through the old "return to the fifties" books i get motivated homemaker wise, so out came the books along with the recipe books. found a ham, potatoe, and pea recipe that i made, the kids scrunched their noses to it, but we made them taste it and suprise! they were asking if there was any left over the next day. now i have fallen into this trap before, we'll see if they truly liked it if they actually eat it the next time i make it!

lastly, i have contemplated back and forth about facebook. i didn't mind not having it and really at this point, i do not get on there very often, however i end up posting on there rather than here. so i think i may try, starting a blog, and adding to it each day of the week, the little things and then posting it at the end of the week. sorta like a journal, we'll see. i always have wonderful ideas and intentions and they don't always get followed through on......

just dance!

i will admit to being extremely lazy this morning....however, i did move alot this afternoon! i had seen and read good reviews on the wii game "just dance". so i had chris put it in the que on gamefly. it came yesterday. well while i was being lazy i got on fb and saw gracie had already tried it! how pitiful am i? our house is not large and yet i had to read on fb that my daughter had already tried it! just another clue as to how bad we have gotten! anyway, i hollared that i had wanted to see it, when did she do it? so we left our rooms and headed for the living room....again, how pitiful are we! we put it in and i sat and watched her for the first few songs! i could not get over how good she was! for a girl who seems to be extremely clumsy, she certainly has good rhythm! AND she was enjoying it! i was enjoying it myself....but like frankie, a little unsure that i wanted to humiliate myself in front of the kids! well, atleast chris was not up stairs or i am not sure i would have participated! alot of the songs were from the 80's and a few from the oldies, which i guess some would now call the 80's! ha! i slowly started trying to move just my arms to the motions. gracie was making it look so easy, and hey, i HAD been in jubilares! so i thought, ok, how hard can this be..... famous last words! i was NO LONGER a teenager, and evidently if you don't work your rhythm, you loose it! haha! however, i gave it the good ol college try! not that i ever went to college! so i stood next to grace and we danced our hearts out, mine gave out before hers ofcourse! once she finished, i went on to check out all the songs and dances on there! and dance a little more. i must admit to it being alot of fun, even as bad as i was. but twords the end, if i had more energy, i think i could have done tons better. it def works up a sweat. never did get frankie to do it. he would rather sit on the couch and say how disturbing it was to see his mom dancing and oh the humanity! i kept reminding him there was a whole other part of the house he could go to, but it was all in good fun! at one point, gracie said, MOM! your so old, it's doesn't go like that, it goes like this! i said, grace, your lucky i am able to even try it let alone get it right! lol so i think i may use this game as an incentive to get her to finish her school stuff at a reasonable time so she and i can "dance" for awhile!

my confessions

haven't been on here for awhile, i allowed myself back on facebook and it seems to have taken me away from here! and that is just the first of my confessions.......
i have discovered, that next year, i don't think i will be able to have my big ol' garden as i had hoped. my desire is there, but my skin just is not cooperating. this season, my skin has fought all summer long and even now, not in the garden i am still working to get it healed. i am so bummed about this, but it is what it is. i can say i do know HOW to garden and can maybe even still grow a few things on a much smaller scale and in boxes, but my dreams of a self sufficient food supply (fruits and veggie wise) are gone......*pouting*. so next year i guess i will have to rely on farmer's markets etc....
also, in wanting to organic and chemical and process free in our home, has also not been a success.... too much work and not enough time. i found us eating out more (defeating the purpose) and spending more money on "organic" food and then spending more money eating out at non organic places! soooo i now resolve, to start small and try making BETTER choices (such as unbleached flour vs white) instead of BEST "whole wheat organic" etc...... i guess we are all gonna die sometime but if i keep pressuring myself to be "organic" it's gonna be sooner! plus, when i can take some of that pressure off, it makes cooking at home quicker, easier and more enjoyable. i AM trying to work more veggies and fruits in our diets and less junk, fixing vegetable instead of chips, or sunchips vs ruffles, when we do have chips! etc.... babysteps.

still working on fitting excersise into our daily routine. i am soooo NOT a morning person and neither are my kids, but once the day begins it gets busy and it's hard to get ourselves motivated. when you have a break you think " ughhh i just want to sit down and veg" instead of "gee i think i shall go for a walk" haha! ya not us, but it NEEDS to be us. atleast get ourselves moving on the wii fit games, SOMETHING!!! i will confess to having become addicted to watching shows on the computer. i felt so good to be able to say, ya we don't own cable, well who needs to when you have netflix and all the tv shows online! i just switched one screen for another and while the screen may have got smaller, my rear screen has gotten wider!

i have made great strides in the decluttering process of our house. still have alot to go, but feel good about what i have done. i think the next step is going to be convincing myself i dont' need so much of the non clutter but "practical" stuff! honestly i see tiny homes and think how does one fit all their stuff in there. if i was single with no kids, all my stuff would not fit in that house! but i think it is because they either have less stuff or they are destined to be on that show "hoarders" and when you go inside you see the house is literally being held up by "stuff"! i try to lay in bed and think.....if i had just a couple hours to load up our vehicles and get to some place safe, what would i realllly want to take with us.....then i KNOW what is most important to hang on to and the rest is negotiable. i KNOW i would want my sewing machine and fabric, but do i really need all those craft supplies? i KNOW i would want all our pictures, but do i really need all that memoriabilia? etc.... the only thing i can't decide, even in thos scenarios is if we really need all the blankets we own. i mean, blankets can be so versatile, used to wrap items in, to spread on the ground, to keep you warm, to cover a window (only in desperate times) and can be remade or cut into scraps, etc...
our homeschool front is going like this: again i confess to NOT being a morning person. frankie however, is really good about setting his alarm, getting himself up, gettng breakfast, and starting school. meanwhile, gracie and i are still in bed! sometimes she gets up and gets going on her own, but alot of times i go in and wake her up. frankie is fairly good about getting his stuff done and not needing help, except in math. gracie, she has a hard time staying on task. she likes to come up with any and every excuse to have to stop that video and do something or ask something. i have tried many tactics to fix this and some work sometimes and some work none of the times. the thing is, i knew she was doing this at public school too. i just need to figure out why and how to fix it. i am the same way, unless it's watching a show, i have a hard time keeping my focus on task. my mind wanders to this and that. maybe it's a girl thing, i don't know. and no, it's not add, though we tease it is. i think it MIGHT be a sensory thing. i am going to experiment with that and see how it goes. however, even with her lack of focus, she is doing better on her work than frank. while he has the self motivation, he does not have the patience he needs to slow down. he needs to read all the directions instead of glancing and thinking he knows what to do and he needs to recheck his work. alot of times when i point out an error, it was not due to him not knowing how to do it, but rather an error because he was rushing.....again same issues he had in public school. the difference is, i do not have to worry about a class full of kids therefor i am able to sit and try to figure out the whys and the hows to fix it....hopefully.....

on the church front.....we have finally found a new church we are happy at. it is full of homeschool families which is wonderful in and of itself. but also the kids have had great success in making new friends, we love the preaching and i THINK we will fit in nicely. i have a habit of volunteering for any and everything when i am new somewhere, so i am really trying to restrain myself from doing that here. i usually do so much i burn out quickly. i don't want to do that here. so i am doing some sewing for now, but i reallly enjoy that. i am restraining from volunteering to clean the church. they have mentioned twice that they need volunteers but i really don't have the time with homeschooling and this church is over a half hour away, so at this time it's not practical. but my incessant need to please tries to rear her head, but for now i am able to tame her. i want to take our time, get to know people and slowly get involved, a new approach for me, that's for sure, but one i feel strongly about doing. here's my selfish confession, we have been so hurt over the years by supposed "christian" friends, i have to admit (confess) i am hesitant to get too close to new people at this point, which is very uncharacteristic and unnatural for me, but something i feel is important at this time. now i do have to add, we have also found tremendous friendships from our christian brothers and sisters as well, but i just want to take things slow this time. i know being a christian does not by any means make you perfect, in fact the farthest thing from, it's in acknowleding your a sinner, that is a huge part of it. but there are just somethings, you really don't expect a christian to do! that doesn't mean i don't forgive, but i sure can not erase the damage it does. i admit to having done some mean things to people in the past as well, and so i try not to judge, but not judging is not the same as forgetting. if you get hurt doing something, it doesn't mean you won't do it again, it just means you will be extra careful the next time.......

and so on that i am finishing...... i have gotten alot off my mind tonite. i have tried off and on to keep a daily diary like my granny did. i'm definetly not great at sticking to anything! so this is the closest i think i will get. but i have to say, her daily diaries were short, there were so many things i wish she had expanded on, that leave me with even more questions....so i am trying to answer any questions my kids/grandkids my have one day as well as help them get to know me and how i felt at different times in my life. i need to start printing these blogs off and keeping them in a binder for both my kids (cuz i need one more thing to have to store! lol). or maybe just burn them to disk, that might be easier! ha!